I’m somewhat tardy to the wordpress party. This is, Constant Reader, my first blog post.* I’m glad that we are both here, and, if lucky, somewhere else too.
It is a beginning, and an ending. Like each morning, night, night, and morning. Interchangeable. Flux.
I’m not sure why I have taken this long to establish a blog, or even write non-academic content. After all, being an English major, one is interpolated as a writer. So, as I approach the end of my undergraduate degree, I hereby, finally commit to writing. This, further coursework, career-related work, hopefully.
Perhaps I also managed to shut writing out. I have shut too many things, and most crucially, many people, out of my life over the past couple of years. I’m trying not to sound too rueful, as it was what I wanted at the time. And I have gained so much experience and knowledge. This will be referred to intermittently throughout my blogs, no doubt. But I am working on that. I guess that my to blogging heralds, or at least denotes, a new sense of glasnost in my life.
Openness to the moment, to the now. To the future, yes, but not at the cost of the present. I will continue to have outlines and aspirations, but I will try to focus on what is in my life today. Appreciate what I have, and who I have. And an openness to new people and perspectives. Especially when those perspectives clash with each other, and I get to rethink my own views, and come to the conclusion that my life is better for this cacophony, not the hitherto unmeasured silence.
In the last few months, I have had a renewed sense of how finite things really are. Life, and the nature of things in general. Change is the sole constant. Which hurts, beyond expression, especially in this first blog post. But it is also immensely comforting. Someone whom I love dearly once shared a Tibetan proverb with me, during a period of low mood, and I paraphrase: emotions come and go, leaving as faint a trace upon the mind as the bird does upon the sky. This extends to all facets of existence. We are passing.
A friend of mine, who claims to be prescient, told me recently that I would die with no regrets. I’m not sure if I have total faith in what she says she saw, but I resolve to live my life fully. I do not regret any of the decisions that I have made in recent years, as while they have meant that I have missed out on certain aspects of life, I have thrived in others. I feel better equipped as a person, going forth and contributing to shared life. Shared being the operative word in this entire blog post, methinks. In my life. Right now I can appreciate what Kate O’Brien, in The Land of Spices, rather beautifully called the “lustrous potentiality” in the lives of those around me, as well as my own. I intend to do that for the next few decades.
* I call you this because I assume that you read my Tweets. Plus, I remember reading the term in a Stephen King book as a child and it stuck with me.